pedialite and red bull = repair kit
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
