Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
is wine microwaveable?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
