is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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