hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
