worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize
