i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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