You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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