I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
