Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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