two words...techno handjob
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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