how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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