I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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