He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize