Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
