i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
