What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
