honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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