She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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