First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize