this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
