At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
