im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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