he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
