What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
