He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
