ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
