So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
