At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
My vagina is officially offended.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
