The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Quick, to the slutcave!
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
