I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Randomize
