K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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