Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
