hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
