Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Sorry my hands just texted you
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
