Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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