HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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