he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
