Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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