I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I want a musical about memes.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize