clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
