you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize