were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
