It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
