Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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