i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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