Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Randomize
