His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
