I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
...so i touched it.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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