remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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