y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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