You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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