I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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