i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
