so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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