I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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