but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize