im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
even my farts smell like vagina
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
