Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
