GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Found your dick twin last night
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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