I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
